I never felt like I belonged in the skinny world.
It was like I was the brunt of people jokes or a person that they could tear down.
All my life I have tried to put my past behind me. I have struggled.
Sometimes my mind will flood with memories.
One memory always seems to pop into my head.
I’m not really sure but I was so young.
The moment I came to the realization I was different from everybody else.
In second grade I was standing near the doorway waiting for class to enter the lunchroom. I was minding my own business not bothering anyone.
“Hey fat girl” A girl on the other side of the whispered.
My cheeks grew hot and I know my face was turning bright red. I had grown accustomed to this type of abuse. The first thing I knew was not to turn around and to ignore it.
“Do you know you’re really fat?” She whispered louder.
At times like these have wanted to lash out of people. I wanted turn around and ask them why they were doing these things to me. My feelings were trounced on. There was a feeling I wanted to run. But there was no place to hide. I had to stay in their online for the next 10 minutes while this person tore me down and insulted my being.
“You are as big as a whale.” She cackled.
By the end of this incident she got a group of friends to taunt me. I could feel the tears running down my cheeks.
It only took 10 minutes to ruin my day.
I wanted to go up to her and ask her why she hated me so much.
Did she hate me because I was fat?
Did she feel I was less if a person because I was overweight?
I’m not sure.
This was not the first time I was reminded about my weight. It has been a lifelong struggle to accept myself and ignore idiotic people.
There’s been a long time that has passed. But I still remember. I cried more tears.
I ask myself what I can do to make my life better.
So I’ve began a journey in life.
I write down my feelings. I want to share them with the world.
Provide new insights.
Help overweight people to realize we belong in this world.
The number one goal is not about the pounds. Instead it focuses on the need to promote healthy lifestyle as well a positive outlook.
Fat people will always be considered different.
They will remain the butt of people’s jokes and a target for abuse.
Instead of focusing on the negative there is intense need to blossom a new way of thinking.
It doesn’t matter how much weight I lose. I will always be that scared little fat girl.
The new purpose in my life has been to figure out how I can live as this person but strive to be a better person.
Understanding the past and accepting my future represent my new goals.
I am different! But I have more heart and love for life.
It took so many people to tear me down but I know there’s one person that can change.
I accept it. I live with it.
I’m learning to embrace it.
I’m a fat girl living in a skinny world.