A Big Sigh

A long week dealing with the death of my father in law.  

I felt my husband was fighting his grief, anger and fear.  

Feelings are an amazing aspect of life. 

 It creates the person. 

Affects your feelings on people as well as life in general.  

 I could feel the inner turmoil brewing inside my husband.

The grief of losing a man that has raised him since the age of two.  In every sense of the word his father.

The anger of the past.  The words that had been said and the pain this man had caused him.

And the fear of losing him in addition to the aspect of his mother trying to make her way through life.

Somehow the funeral came together.  No drama.  An attempt to come together for a last hurrah to celebrate his life.  

My husband walked away from the casket and came to me.  I held him for a moment.   Kissed away his tears.   I could feel a sense of calm.

Afterwards we went to his father’s favorite place to eat.  It was a small group of family and close friends.  

I think his father was smiling from up above.  

A chance to laugh and reminisce.   He would have loved it!

As we drove away my husband looked at me and smiled.

I just let out one big sigh.

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