I Lied To Myself

I lied to myself.

Every time I’ve overeaten or binged.

It was in the moment.

I heard myself say it was no big deal.  There was no harm in continuing these habits.

I’m here to say I was wrong…

After forty years of these destructive habits losing weight has become extremely difficult.

It seems like the scales move up more than down.

There are nights I struggle to control my diet.  Trying to eat better foods and portion.  Resisting the urge to open the cabinet or refrigerator.

Long days I battle the urge to relieve stress by eating everything in sight.

Food has been the one thing I’ve relied on to make me feel better.

I’m human.

And I persevere .

I feel like there is a switch inside me that helps me break out of a funk or pushes me to keep trying.

The worst thing I’ve ever done was to ignore this switch.  I’d hear the voices in my head telling me I needed to stop.

At times the voices were muted.  I’d only hear the things I wanted.

Lies are things you must not perpetuate.

There has to be a time in your life when you face reality and tell yourself the things you have dreaded to hear.

You have to lose weight.

You have to exercise.

You have to eat right

You have to live better.

I refuse to lie to myself anymore….

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3 thoughts on “I Lied To Myself

  1. Have you tried telling yourself that you do NOT need to lose weight or exercise or eat right or live better? That it’s possible for you to choose to be happy in the skin that you’re in? Or have you tried better defining what those things really mean to you and only you? Is it possible that the reason why you feel like you’ve been lying to yourself is that you’ve been trying to live up to someone else’s “shoulds”? Living doesn’t have to be, and shouldn’t be torture. There is a way to learn to stop fighting yourself.

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