In times of struggle I often internalize my fears.
I feel like I am clawing my way out of a huge hole.
I’ve done this my entire life.
I have to admit it becomes very exacerbating.
It’s like every time I make some progress I get fall back a little and find myself getting discouraged.
This is life.
No matter how I feel I must keep visualizing my goals and rationalizing my feelings.
Often my mother has said I’m never in the middle. I am the type of person that is feeling high and then very low at the next moment.
I can sit here and share so many of my feeling with you. It helps to bring me around and makes me feel stronger.
Life has been good to me. I truly have no reason to be miserable.
In my youth I would have lashed out or hid from the world.
Instead I find it important to open up.
So each day gets a little better. My feelings subside.
I attribute these feelings to arrival of colder weather, an absence of the sun, my hormones as well as my lifelong struggle to lose weight.
So for tonight I am going to get comfortable and relax. Tomorrow will definitely be better!