In my exercise class I was dialed in.
I ran in place. Pushed myself to the limit.
It was exhilarating!
I was changing and looking at myself in mirror. Sweat was streaming down my face.
It brought pictures back of that scared and lonely child. Trying to fit in with others.
I was about the age of ten and participating in gym class. I was competing in a relay race on the track.
I was one of the slowest ones on the track.
One of my classmates was yelling at me.
“Come on you fat slob, get moving.”
He screamed those words all around the track at me.
The gym teacher said nothing.
I remember that day so vividly. But I don’t look back in anger or hatred. I feel sorry for my classmate because he lacked common human decency and must not have been a happy child to have treated a classmate in that manner.
It is a process of healing.
Letting go of my fears.
I truly don’t care what others may think about me giving my all in fitness class.
In fact I hope their comment is look at her and all the effort she is putting in.
I want to implore people to not allow others especially children to verbally abuse. To degrade a person in front of their peers. It should not be tolerated.
As adults we have the responsibility to treat others with dignity and respect.
Expect the same from our children.
So the rest of the day I was not sad.
I was pumped from the exercise so I had a smile on my face.
Those memories are in the past.
That is where I will leave them.
I refuse to continue racing against myself.